im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
