GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
