I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
my nose is crying tears of wow.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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