Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
