ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
