last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
