Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
