Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
