ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
