I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
