after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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