He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
