Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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