jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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