I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
