just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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