just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
