Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
