Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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