You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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