Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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