what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
