I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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