Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
