Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
