Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
he was CRYING into my vagina
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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