Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
