eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Randomize
