I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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