??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You need a sexual gate keeper
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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