I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
i out mim tonsoeep
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