Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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