I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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