I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
