He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
