how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
