does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
there was a trapeze. enough said
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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