if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
