Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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