So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
