Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She bit a glass in half.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
