You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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