from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
