I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Randomize
