I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
