ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize