he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
My butt remains clenched, sir.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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