My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize