I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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