Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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