i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
