I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
