I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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