i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Is Oprah even human
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
