Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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