She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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