I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
