He had one of those small greek statue penises
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
