hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize