Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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