So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
