At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
