you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
