Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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