I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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