Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize